I sat with my parents, in the restaurant, on my thirteenth birthday. My dad spoke to me, in detail, about a commitment to God and to a man I had yet to meet. He spoke to me of nobility and of staying pure. One moment that I remember vividly was seeing my covenant ring for the first time. As my dad pulled out my ring, my eyes widened in amazement. It was a reminder to me that my parents were praying a special hedge of protection around me, which would only be penetrated by the right suitor. I was a treasure to be found. That ring stood for the commitment that I was making to God, to my parents, and to my future spouse. My commitment was to stay pure, in both mind and body, so that I could someday give myself – as a precious gift – to my future spouse, my one and only love. This meant that the first time that I would ever be kissed would be on my wedding day, for I had yet to give that to any man. I had always thought it was right to wait until your wedding day to kiss. That is, after all, the reason that the minister says, “You may now kiss your bride.” Saying, “you may now kiss” implies that kissing prior to that moment would be improper, right? I thought this to be very reasonable and logical…until all the criticism came. And it didn’t come from those whom one would expect either, mind you. No, my critics were those who graced the halls and seats of the church…the ones whom you would expect to support any Godly standard that one would choose to uphold.
All of my life, I have had people question the importance, validity, and necessity of the commitment I made that day. Many mocked and scorned it, saying that it could never be done. Many others just laughed at me, calling me foolish and naïve. Maybe I was naïve? Actually, I would rather like to think of it as innocence. I never wanted to lose my innocence. Once lost, it is nearly impossible to regain. As I reflect back on those days, I recall countless times when I questioned the commitment that I made. Sometimes that covenant ring was a source of pain and confusion, as I wondered if anyone would ever love me, care for me, or even notice my existence. In all honesty, there were times when I felt like cursing that “hedge of protection” that had been placed over me, as if it were some type of spell cast over me to never get a date! I remember crying out to God, asking why. The giant of compromise was staring me in the face, wanting me to give in. But, by the time that giant showed up with full force, it was too late. It was too late because all those times when my acquaintances were out with their weekend flings, casual dates, and their “special someone”…I was with mine…my Special Someone, that is. I was pouring that time into growing my relationship with God. Those were such rich times in His presence! I fell in love with Him there. And when you love someone so deeply, the last thing that you would ever want to do is hurt him. I knew that if I compromised, even in the smallest detail, it would devastate Him. I just couldn’t do that to the one I loved. During this time in my life, I also started writing a detailed journal to my future spouse (of course still not knowing whom that would be). This helped to remind me that he was out there somewhere, because of faith (Hebrews 11:1). I just needed to continue to sow seeds of faithfulness.
Many years passed, and it was looking grim – but still, I knew that I didn’t want to “settle.” I wanted more. I wanted to be different then the rest – special. Anyone can give him/herself to compromise! That is the easy way out! But, in order to have more, you have to do something more. Let me pause for a moment and say something to those considering this challenge. This is not for the faint of heart. This will take guts. You will be rejected by many. And again, those you would expect to support you will ridicule you for your so-called “extremism.” If you are looking to go along with pop culture (with what the “popular” believe) you will be dead in the water! When you choose the high road, you will stand alone many times, and you must continue to stand, for the long term. You must not wait for others to do it with you…if you do, you will never make it. This commitment is only for those who are looking to bring nobility, honor, and purity back into the definition of a truly beautiful woman of God. And this is only for those who are willing to wait for the reward and fruit that comes from years of sowing in tears. The sweetest fruit ripens on the vine…it is not picked before its time. Fruit that is picked and eaten prematurely is bitter and makes one sick. All the seeds that were sown, by making that one commitment on my thirteenth birthday, came to fruition shortly after my 27th birthday…14 years!
My knight found me and, with the blessing of my parents, courted me and asked, with all nobility, for my hand in marriage. Everything within me cried, “It was worth it!” as I experienced my first real kiss, on my wedding day. I had fulfilled my covenant of purity, with my family, friends, and loved ones witnessing that such things are still possible! It was right, and I know that God was pleased and smiling! With all this said, I want to challenge you to never compromise your dignity. And if you are one who has already gone down that road of compromise…it is not too late to turn back.
Turn to God and cling to Him – He wants to help you. The faster we realize that we can’t survive without Him, the better. In relationships, instead of asking yourself, “How much can I get away with?” begin by making different choices and asking, “How can I begin to bring nobility, honor, dignity, and purity back into this relationship?” I have news that may be news to us, but not to God: We are already made these things in Christ! Now, we just have to believe it ourselves, and agree. I challenge you to not only desire more, but also to be more…leaving a legacy for others to follow. It was my desire, from the start, to be an example and to leave a legacy. What I have learned in my short time is that a legacy is built one right decision at a time. It can be done…I did it…and you can be that next one…
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